Em's Birth Story

Emelia Ann, August 9, 2012

Lately I have been reading a lot birth stories.  I find them fascinating, the miracle of life and all.  So, I decided that even though Em was born 15 months ago, I would finally write her birth story, so here you go (since I know you have been dying to hear all the gory details).

Background - Rachel goes crazy
I always thought women who had their babies "naturally" were a little nuts.  Why would you go through that if you had the option of modern medicine and could numb all that pain???  I for sure wouldn't ever do that!  Well, when I was finally pregnant and I started looking into birthing options, my opinions started to change.  I did A LOT of reading (tried to get Rocky to do the same) and discussed things with my home-birthing pro/doula/sister-in-law, V (she's had all three of her babies at home!).  I was drawn to everything I had always out right dismissed.  Turns out I'm kinda crazy.  Who knew?  Rocky was all about it.  We decided to birth all natural at the hospital and signed up for a hypnobirthing class (check it out - http://www.hypnobirthingutah.com/).  We were already going to a midwife practice that does hospital deliveries, so that was covered.  I loved the classes and learned so much about the body that I never knew (I payed attention in high school health class, but they never explained the uterus in enough detail!  It's pretty amazing!).  That was pretty much all I needed to be confident I didn't need any interventions.  I was built for this.  I practiced the relaxation tracks/techniques and breathing, but probably not as much as I should have.  As the months passed, I felt more and more like I really didn't want to do this at the hospital.  I'd had a three day stay in the hospital a few years back and hated every second of it.  I felt like if we were at the hospital, I would be way to stressed out to relax.  Since I was healthy and the kid was healthy, just one month before the due date, we decided to get a new midwife and birth at home.  Luckily, V connected us with her friend Cathy who had helped with the birth of our newest niece just two months earlier.  I only told a handful of people our plan - I didn't want people to tell me I was crazy and discourage me. 

Laboring - Just another day, or two, or three...
Em's due date was August 6th.  I was sure she was going to be two weeks late.  Luckily, I was only ever at most, mildly uncomfortable during the pregnancy (I had the best pregnancy ever), so I didn't really mind the thought of her coming late.  I was just mentally preparing myself because I had heard so many women get discouraged if they went over their due date.  Fortunately, she didn't come early.  I hadn't prepared myself for that possibility.


On Sunday, August 5, 2012, I lost my mucus plug.  Wahoo!  One indicator it would be sometime soonish!  But I tried not to get excited as there weren't any other signs - hadn't felt any contractions through the whole pregnancy.  Not a one.  (Footnote: in hypnobirthing, they encourage you to call contractions "surges" to avoid negative connotations, i.e., pain.  I don't have any negative associations with the word, so I use it.  Every time you move, your muscles contract, and usually do so painlessly.  The uterus is just a bunch of muscles, so contractions do not have to be painful.)  I let V and Cathy know, but all they said was let us know if anything else happens.  We had some friends from Colorado visit us that night and in the morning when they left (on her due date!  I swear they were looking at me funny the whole stay - "Are you sure it's ok if we stay?  Couldn't you have the kid any minute??"), I went to the office (I work at home so it took 10 seconds) and worked hard at wrapping up loose ends all day - I was going to start 4 months of leave any minute...there was a lot to do!  I didn't have any other labor indicators all day.  Oh well.  She'll be here in two weeks, I thought.


That night, on Monday, August 6, 2012 I was sitting on the floor, folding baby clothes at about 8:30 at night when I started to feel regular contractions, about 15 minutes apart.  They were mildly uncomfortable.  Mostly it was exciting!  They never stopped.  They got closer throughout the night.  We went to bed about 11, but I didn't really sleep.  I was too excited and they got to be about five minutes apart around 3AM.  I remember thinking she was going to come pronto!  But, after about an hour of five-minute ones, they spaced out again and I got some rest.  I updated V and Cathy in the morning.  Rocky went to work but promised he'd race home if needed.  About 9AM, I logged on at work, finished up a few things and told everyone I was going to have the kid sometime!  I logged off and relaxed.  Not much happened that day.  Contractions continued all day, getting close together, then further apart.  I just hung out - read, watched some movies, listened to relaxation tracks, etc.  It was slightly uncomfortable, nothing more.  V came over and hung out with me for a while.  Cathy came over with her assistant, Melanie, and they checked me.  I had dilated, but not much.  Maybe a 3, I can't remember.  They said to keep them updated and headed out.  The day passed lazily, the night passed the same as the night before.  Lots of contractions, nothing intense.

After 48 hours of labor!

Wednesday August 8th, passed the same.  Rocky went to work.  My parents drove down from Idaho.  V came over a few times.  My parents got a side-crib for our bed and my dad set it up.  I lazed about, and used the bathroom about a million times.  My body was flushing everything.  Contractions got more consistent.  About 5 that evening, Cathy returned and checked me and I think I was at a 7. (Another footnote for you: I purposely didn't have her check me more than twice.  I didn't want to be discouraged if I found out I wasn't dilated more than I thought/hoped I was, and I didn't want any unnecessary  anything - checks aren't necessary!)  She said the kid was going to come that night.  She and Melanie left to get some food.  We had some pizza and then walked about the yard a bit.  Rocky set up the birthing pool in the living room while I sat on the birthing ball.  I was getting more uncomfortable.  Rocky helped me breath through the contractions that were getting faster and more intense.  I got on my knees in the pool and leaned over the side.  We just hung out.  V realized that we were each wearing something we had worn on our family trip to Hawaii back in February so we looked at pictures and laughed as we ate crackers and cream cheese (it was so yummy!) and waited for things to progress.  We were having a really good time!  My parents hung out upstairs.  Cathy and Melanie came back about 11PM and started their preparations. We listened to the baby's heartbeat, it was in the 140's.

Rocky is the best.

Transition - What the?!?!!
About 11:20 my water broke (I was really hoping it would stay intact and Em would be born "en caul" - it's supposed to be really lucky - but oh well) with a big "pop" and a large rush into the pool.  Things started getting very intense.  Rocky comforted me the entire time, pouring water on my back, doing light tough massage on my arms, holding me, putting a cold washcloth on my forehead.  I stopped paying attention to everyone else.  I forgot to pay attention to my breathing.  I didn't visualize.  We didn't listen to any relaxation tracks/music.  At some point Rocky asked me if I wanted him to read any of the scripts.  I think I told him to read whatever.  I think he read a few, but I didn't pay attention.  I moved back and forth from the pool to the toilet a few times.  I always got back on my knees in the pool and leaned over the side.  I started getting nauseous and shaky.  I threw up twice.  I regretted the crackers and cream cheese.  I started thinking, "I'm crazy.  I can't do this.  But I'm pretty sure it's too late to go anywhere.  Better just do it." (I did not realize these were typical signs of transition.)  I didn't share my thoughts.  I don't remember talking at all.  V later said I was very present and the most polite woman in labor she'd ever seen.  Apparently I said please and thank you when ever anyone did anything.  I don't remember that at all!

A Dying Cow Has a Baby
At about 12:30, I started to moan loudly.  Apparently this worried my parents upstairs, but I knew deep vocalizations helped, so I just moaned away.  Everyone reminded me to keep them low.  Time flew.  It seriously felt like maybe 10 minutes had passed since my water broke.  I felt the ring of fire and I remember thinking, "Oh, that's what they were talking about.  That is a very accurate name/description." They said something about her head being out, but the rest of her wasn't coming.  Several more hard pushes and all the sudden a baby floated up in front of me, it was 1:15 on August 9th (less than two hours after my water broke!).  We were shocked!  There she was!  The midwives had been telling Rocky that she was really close to coming out, but he was at my head and couldn't see anything so he hadn't believed them.  But there she was!  Em had finally come!

We did it!

Em starts her own life.

I stayed in the pool holding her for some time.  She didn't make much noise at all, just looked at me and snuggled.  I asked for my glasses so I could see her better (who knows when those came off).  My parents came down with our dog to meet her.  Needless to say, we were all very emotional!  I guess my dad told V that I did "real good" with a super big grin.  Rocky cut her cord at about 1:40 - we waited for all the blood in the placenta to move into Em before cutting it.  She went from super purplish-white to intense pink, and stayed that color for days!  I got out of the pool and sat on the birthing stool to birth the placenta (it felt like it just slipped out!), while Rocky and Melanie measured and weighted Em.  She was 8 pounds and 19 inches long.  Her head was 13 1/4, her chest 14 and her abdomen 13 3/4 (no wonder she stayed in for a bit after her head came out - her head wasn't the hardest part to push out!!!). We did not bathe her (the vernix is good for them!).  She didn't get any goop in the eyes or shots.  She was never more than 20 feet from me.

I moved to the bed and Cathy examined me.  I had a slight tear and we discussed not stitching it.  We decided to just put two stitches in to be safe.  Cathy tried to inject something to numb me, but that hurt so I just told her to hurry and put them in since it was only two stitches.  While this was going on, Rocky was checking out the placenta and umbilical cord (why?? I don't know!) and came in and tried to get me to look at it.  No thanks!  He thought it was amazing, and apparently Em had a super beefy umbilical cord.  After that we tried breastfeeding and Em took a nap.  Everyone else cleaned things up and left about 3AM.  The only trace of a birth that they left was the baby!  We tried to get some rest, but we were super excited and just wanted to adore Em!  She obliged us by not sleeping much.  But the best part was that I didn't have to go pee 900 times that night!  I got my bladder back!  YES!

Look at that cute pink bum!

Q&A
So was this birth painless?  No, but I have done harder things than this, and it didn't get hard until the last two hours. 

Would I do another birth at home?  Honestly, after it was over, I told Rocky I didn't want to do that again and let's try adoption next time we wanted a kid.  But with the benefit of some time passing, I can now say, absolutely!  As long as everything before hand indicated that the baby and I were healthy.

Did you consider having your water broken or doing anything else to "move things along"?  Nope.  I wanted my body to take it's time.  I didn't want to rush anything.  I think trying to "move things along" often causes stress, stalls labor (unintentionally), and leads to unnecessary interventions.  I was anxious to meet my baby, but I was content to let my body and Em do their thing.  Cathy never mentioned (at least to me) doing anything to "move things along".  I would have been mad if she had.

Is there anything I would do differently?  Yes!  I would:

• practice more!
• have some soothing music/relaxation tracks playing
• drink more water - I felt a bit dehydrated after it all
• try different birthing positions (other than moving to the toilet a few times, I was on my knees leaning on the pool side the whole time)
• get some counter-pressure on the hips and what not
• invite my sisters and my mom to be with me

What was the hardest part?  Breastfeeding.  It was extremely hard for many months.  It was much worse than the birth.  We powered thorough it though and now the occasional bite is the only issue.

What is Em like today?  Super healthy and happy.  She is always on the go, loves exploring, and lovers her Papa! 

Em enjoying her birthday cake!